If I Were Beautiful
(If I Were…, #1)
Publication date: January 23rd 2017
Genres: Contemporary, New Adult, Romance
Is life better when you’re beautiful?
Jane Johnson has tried every beauty tip and trick known to woman, but none of them have ever made men notice her.
Finally, something is working. She barely recognizes herself in the mirror. Is it her new haircut? Two years of yoga class? Her new eyebrow tweeze? Or is it all that nasty wheat grass juice her sister insisted she drink finally working some kind of magic? Whatever it is, something is transforming Jane from plain to downright beautiful.
For the first time in her life, men are noticing her.
Jane is getting so much attention from men she doesn’t know what to do with it.
Before her inexplicable transformation, she couldn’t get a date to save her life. Now she has a date every night of the week. Gorgeous eligible men are throwing themselves at her. They’re even fighting over her. Actual fist fights to win her affection.
It all seems too good to be true.
The only question on Jane’s mind is whether or not her newfound beauty is going to last or if it’s some cruel trick of fate that will fade away as quickly as it appeared.
Because everybody knows, when something seems too good to be true, it probably is.
***If I Were Beautiful is a saucy romance with a mystical twist that will leave you breathless to find out what happens next. This is book one of a three book series. Book two will release April 2017, Book three, July 2017 (or sooner).
In my new novel If I Were Beautiful, the heroine Jane Johnson wakes up one morning and discovers she’s transformed from plain into an amazingly gorgeous supermodel. Rather than making her life awesome, Jane quickly realizes that being beautiful is its own special kind of pain in the A. Sure, she meets some smoking hot bad boy romance novel hero types who fight over her, but that doesn’t stop the rest of mankind from throwing themselves at her 24/7. Jane quickly learns that most men can be pests who won’t take no for an answer.
In honor of Jane’s struggles with her new beauty issues, I offer you:
Devon Hartford’s Top 10 Tips for Girls With Too Many Men In Their Lives
10. Adopt as many cats as possible.
9. Ask him to take you knitting or crafting on your first date.
8. Tell him you are morally opposed to oral sex.
7. Demand he sit to pee in public and in private.
6. Buy a purse skunk. Carry with you at all times. When in public, insist he carry your purse. The one with your purse skunk.
5. Alternatively, create your own version of Lady Gaga’s meat dress. Wear daily. Do not refrigerate.
4. Invite him to your house for dinner. Invite all your former lovers. Over dinner, explain in great detail how good your former lovers are in bed. Encourage them to share their favorite moments as well. Re-enact as necessary, for clarification.
3. Get a forehead tattoo that reads, I hate sausage.
2. Explain that you have taken a permanent vow of chastity.
1. RUN AWAY!!!!
Devon Hartford is a dude who writes romantic comedies because he likes to laugh as much as he likes to love.
Join Devon’s newsletter and you’ll receive teasers of his upcoming books before anyone else, exclusive freebie short stories and novellas, and no spam. Copy and paste this link into your web browser to sign up: http://www.devonhartford.com/newsletter/