#BlogTour – THE NEVER HAVE I EVER by Mary Jayne Baker

Book cover

About the book

Robyn Bloom thought Ash Barnes was the love of her life – until one day he announced he was leaving her to fly halfway across the world.

Months later, Robyn is struggling to move on – but then she has a brainwave: The Never Have I Ever Club. Her handsome next-door neighbour Will helps her bring their fellow Yorkshire villagers together for some carpe-diem-inspired fun.

From burlesque dancing to Swedish massages, everyone has plenty of bucket-list activities to try, but it doesn’t take long for Robyn to realise what – or who – her heart truly desires: Will.

There’s just one problem: he’s Ash’s twin brother.

Make that two problems: Ash is moving home… and he wants Robyn back.

Buy links:

Amazon: https://amzn.to/3bRE036

Kobo: https://bit.ly/2RkFQSY

Google Play: https://bit.ly/2URi4zV


Freya leaned forward, barely noticing her hair falling into her wine. ‘And then what?’

Robyn shook her head. ‘You two are loving this, aren’t you?’

‘Come on, Rob, you can’t just leave us hanging.’

Next to Freya, her brother Eliot nodded emphatically.

‘Don’t you guys have invasive medical procedures of your own you can get off on?’ Robyn demanded.

‘No,’ Eliot said. ‘So as a charitable Kettlewick citizen, it’s only right you should share yours.’

‘Fine.’ Robyn lowered her voice so the story of her epic humiliation wouldn’t be audible to every drinker in the Boon Companions. ‘So, Will and Mrs Sykes come in and he’s brandishing this giant lubed-up speculum – I mean this thing was two foot long if it was an inch, I swear. With sodding claws on the end.’


‘I’m sure it had claws. Some proper Roswell shit. And I’m lying there, legs spread, eyes watering, then Will says – right, get this. “Don’t worry, Bloom,” he says, waggling this humongous metal schlong at me. “You won’t feel a thing.”’

Eliot snorted.

‘He’s taking the piss,’ Freya said.

‘Course he is, he’s Will.’ Robyn smiled. ‘But the jokes did kind of take the edge off. He’s good at that stuff.’

‘Did it hurt?’ Eliot asked.

‘Well yeah, course it hurt, El. It’s a three-foot-long rod made of hard, cold steel.’

‘It’s grown.’

‘It’ll probably grow some more by the end of the story.’ Robyn took a reviving gulp of wine. ‘Anyway, that wasn’t the worst bit.’

Freya cocked an eyebrow. ‘Being rogered by a ten-foot steel probe wasn’t the worst bit?’

‘No.’ She grimaced. ‘It was him. Will. I mean, when I looked down and he was… there.’

Eliot frowned. ‘Well he’d have to be there, wouldn’t he? If he was examining your bits.’

Freya nudged him. ‘She means because of his brother, you prat.’

‘Oh. Oh! Yeah, that’d be weird.’

‘I really didn’t think the whole identical twin thing through when I started seeing Ash,’ Robyn said. ‘You can wave goodbye to your bastard, but his doppelgänger in the house next door isn’t so easy to shift.’

‘Will’s not a bastard,’ Freya said.

‘Never said he was.’

‘You implied it.’

‘Maybe I did.’ She sighed. ‘I know Will’s Will and Ash is Ash. I’ve got no beef with Will; he’s a nice lad. But he’s wearing the face of a man who unceremoniously dumped me six months ago and is currently on a beach in Western Australia having lazy, sun-drenched, and – if there’s any possibility there really is a God – quite possibly herpes-ridden sex with a girl more than ten years his junior.’

About the author

Mary jane BakerMary Jayne Baker grew up in rural West Yorkshire, right in the heart of Brontë country… and she’s still there. After graduating from Durham University with a degree in English Literature, she dallied with living in cities including London, Nottingham and Cambridge, but eventually came back with her own romantic hero in tow to her beloved Dales, where she first started telling stories about heroines with flaws and the men who love them.

Follow Mary:  

Facebook: @MaryJayneWrites

Twitter: @MaryJayneBaker


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